The 5 WORST Iron Man villains

Iron Man is the superhero du jour right now as Iron Man II is set to hit theaters on Friday. I love everything that is comic book movies but when you look back to the actual comics that spawned these amazing, on-screen embodiments of my heroes of youth, you quickly realize that the writers had a lot of throw away villains.

Some of the SUCKIEST came from Iron Man comics:

5. Mandarin

Obviously Mandarin has one of Iron Man's biggest foes over the years but when you look at him, was he really that tough?! Honestly, he has no powers other than the 10 rings he wears...and seriously, only douches wear thumb rings. Plus, I find it hard to be scared of a cat that looks like James Hong from "Big Trouble in Little China."

4. Midas

Midas wanted to become the wealthiest man in the world. Tony Stark IS one of the wealthiest men in the world. Great premise for a showdown but here is where you lose me...Midas' primary weapon is his Hover Chair (used to support his girth) which is equipped with the following: power beams, force field, and microwave for Hot Pockets when he is doing battle with Iron Man. This is like if my fat Uncle Tony decided that he was going to rob a bank and borrowed my Nana's rascal.
I'll take the Iron Man suit of armor over the hoover-round any day.

3. Justin Hammer

A smoking jacket, honestly?! Justin Hammer doesn't seem like an honest to goodness villain for someone as powerful as Iron Man. He is old and rich. Tony Stark is young, rich, and has a SUIT OF ARMOR!

Will PeePaw Hammer hit ol' Ironsides with some incontinence to to slow him down? Can he still drive on the highway after 6pm?

Outside of Justin Hammer getting into see a movie cheaper than Tony Stark, I don't see his upside.




2. The Unicorn

Firstly, you are named after one of the GAYEST of all mythical creatures outsides of pixies and faries. Secondly, you don't even LOOK like a unicorn. A guy on the street would stop you in your costume and ask who you were, when you replied, "I'm Unicorn," he would then reply, "really?! Unicorn? that's what you are going with?"

1. Fin Fang Foom

Tony Stark is a billionaire, genius, playboy industrialist with a penchant for the booze, whores and technology. When he wears the Iron Man armor he is the most advanced piece of technology on the planet. You are a DRAGON!

I am actually going to spell out WTF here and beg the question, WHAT THE F*** WERE YOU THINKING, STAN LEE?!