7 Videos That Disney World Doesn't Want You to See

Disney World is the ideal vacation spot for families. Sure it's a little expensive, but you will earn major points with your kids. It is a family friendly image that the Walt Disney Company goes to great lengths to protect. With that in mind, today's Big, Stupid List may get us on some watch lists in Orlando and Anaheim. Here are seven videos Walt Disney World doesn't want you to see.

7. If you knew that it is a pain in the ass to get from the Orlando airport to Disney World, you may not come. When you get off the plane, you have to get on a crappy tram just to get to baggage claim.

6. Disney World is always under construction. There are always projects that get started and then abandoned. One of the structures left vacant for the longest time was the second phase of the Pop Century hotel called "The Legendary Years." Check out this video, and remember that Disney is now at work renovating these buildings. So, next time you stay at what will be the "Art of Animation" resort, remember that your room may have been the site where a teenage girl lost her virginity or a hobo did meth.

5. Remember, it takes hours of preparation and rehearsal to stage a Disney World parade. Now, watch this and remember how much Disney puts into all of their productions.

4. Go to Disney World, and no matter where you look you will see all kinds of information about the company's environmental initiatives. I am guessing this guy got fired.

3. Remember, this guy got off the ride right before you got on.

2. Remember friends, when you are dressed as a character, you are that character. If a guest is hasseling you, find a fellow cast member. Do not react like this.

1. Do I need to explain why Disney doesn't want you to see this video?

5 People Cooler Than Ronnie James Dio

This list cannot possibly be made. There are not five people cooler than Ronnie James Dio on this earth.

Rest in Peace, buddy.

6 Fantastic Videos that Feature Dancing Midgets

Midgets, dwarfs, little people, munchkins...

Whatever you call our short friends, do not call them handicapped for one second! These videos prove that you can go to the club and have a ton of fun, even if you are fun-sized!

6. You Got Served...By a Very Small Man

5. Meet Derrick

4. He's a Midget, He's a Transvestite, and He's into Politics

3. Nothing Can Keep Her from Dancing!

2. Gone, but Never Forgotten

1. Like You Didn't Know Who we Were Going to Put Here!

10 Robots We'd Like to Party With

10. Bumble Bee from Transformers

Now, this is the Bumble Bee from the movies. You know, the one that liked to dance, sing and chase tail. There is really only one reason he is at the bottom of this list is that he is gigantic. He would break everything in your house - including your house.

9. M-O from Wall*E

There was nothing cool about M-O. He was an OCD jerk. Why do we want to party with him? Well, somebody has to clean up, and that is what this little guy was designed to do.

8. Kevin from Saved by the Bell

Kevin would be the perfect host for trivia nights at the bar. He was designed to know everything! Plus, he liked women and was designed to be forever loyal, so introduce him to a couple of hotties and there is a good chance he would give your team an unfair advantage.

7. The robots from Batteries Not Included

These little guys really would have no effect on what happens at your party. All they could really do was fly around and heal the elderly. Having them at your party would be like having a giant lava lamp or a hand chair. They are more of a conversation starter than anything.

6. Johnny 5 from Short Circuit

Johnny 5 is hilarious! Afraid you have a lame party? Bring in Johnny to pep things up. He's funny and can do some cool tricks with his eyes and hands - or is it his clamps? Either way, the guy was built to party. I seem to recall him wearing a Hawaiian shirt at one point. Nothing says "party" like a Hawaiian shirt!

5. R2-D2 from the Star Wars movies

R2 brings star power wherever he goes. Having him at your party could get you on TMZ!

4. Gigolo Joe from A.I.

Long story short, you want Gigolo Joe around because he will get you laid. That was his primary purpose! Whether he talks a flesh and blood woman into a Canadian three-way or he helps you find some sweet, robo-booty, the guy delivers.

3. Wall*E

He can smash anything - anything at all! Is there a better party trick? Plus, Wall*E is like a baby or a cute puppy. Look at those eyes. How could you not fall in love with him? You want him around, because ladies think he is adorable.

2. Bender from Futurama

There is no way around it. Bender is the coolest robot in history. Bring him to a party and it is a virtual gaurantee that your party will be "off the chain." Smoking, drinking, stealing stuff, punching people. One night with Bender is equal to a week of nights on the town with Charlie Sheen and Russell Crowe.

1. The Fembots from Austin Powers

Yes, this is a list for nerds, but we are neither dead nor gay. It doesn't matter how cool any of the other nine robots on this list are. The fact of the matter is if you are ever asked "hey, what movie robot would you like to party with?" and you do not answer "the fembots," there is something wrong with you.

5 Album Covers That Look Like They Were Designed by an 11 Year Old

Rock album covers are an odd thing. They are a visual artist's chance to get in on the rock scene. Some graphic designers work their whole lives to get the chance to design a major label rock album cover. That said, let's be honest. Most of them suck! Here are a list of five album covers that aren't necessarily bad, they just look like something from the mind of a preteen.

5. Unknown Artists - Sing Out For Motorcycles

I don't know anything about this album other than the cover is perfect for this list.

4. Pearl Jam - Ten

This is the album cover that speaks to both the eleven year old loser and the eleven year old sports fan. What is your biggest concern when you're in sixth grade? Just fitting in, right? Well, what says "you're one of us" more than a raised, all-hands-in huddle? Also, there are five members of Pearl Jam. They look like a basketball team!

3. Nelson - Because They Can

Here's the joke the eleven year old that designed this album cover told his friend - "Get it? They're a couple of hot, blonde bitches."

2. Rush - Fly by Night

Why does this look like it was designed by an eleven year old? Because it doesn't look like the cover of a rock album. It looks like the cover of a Harry Potter book.

1. Scorpions - Love Drive

Let's not kid ourselves. We're all ridiculously horny at age 11, and it's actually an innocent type of horny. You can't even comprehend sex yet. Just the idea of seeing a boob - let alone touching one - is enough to blow your mind. This picture is every pre-pubescent boy's dream come true. The man will literally be touching boobs for the rest of his life. Never mind that the woman looks like she is about 55.

5 TV Moms That Were Probably Freaks in Bed

5. Carol Brady - The Brady Bunch

This one is so easy that she almost doesn't belong on the list. But, we have to tip our hats to a woman that married a gay guy just to band his son...oh wait, that was real life.

4. Mrs. Arnold - The Wonder Years

Say what you want about Karen Arnold, but for my money there is only one woman in that house that I would want to take to bed. The woman was an air head. Her husband was kind of a douche bag. Don't you think he got exactly what he wanted in the bedroom? So much went wrong in the old man's life. His two sons are idiots. His daughter married a hippie. Don't you think he took all that frustration out on Mrs. Arnold? And she let him. Why? Because she is a fine and good woman.

3. Laura Petrie - The Dick Van Dyke Show

In a time when women wore skirts and dresses Laura Petrie wore pants! She was willing to try new things...perhaps even new positions. Plus, her husband was a television writer. Imagine all the things she had to do at those tawdry Hollywood parties.

2. Lorelai Gilmore - Gilmore Girls

If I remember the story of the show right, didn't Lorelai have her kid when she was like 16? So we know she has plenty of practice. Also, she spent so much time making sure her daughter thought she was still cool. Do you really think that need to please didn't enter the bedroom? But here's the real reason that Lorelai is on this list. Can you name a mother/daughter combo that would be more ripe to participate in the elusive mother/daughter threesome?

1. Claire Huxtable - The Cosby Show

It is almost unfair how far ahead Claire Huxtable is of the rest of these women in the freak department. She was a lawyer. She spent most of her days arguing. Do you really think she didn't bring that passion into the bedroom? She was very street smart. Something tells me she knew her way around some bondage equipment. Plus she had five kids that her husband seemed to hate. Don't you think that he would have been stepping out on the whole family if Claire didn't take care of him? Wait a second. Vanessa looked nothing like the rest of the family. Could she be the unwanted result of a threesome? Claire Huxtable, you are a dirty girl!

10 Endangered Species That Look Absolutely Delicious

10. Two Toed Sloth

Sloths are among the world's laziest animals. They very rarely move. So let's apply the logic behind veal to the two toed sloth. If they don't move very much, than the meat must be super tender and delicious. Time to open up a sloth farm!

9. Zanzibar Suni

He looks like an adorable baby deer. Here are two things I like. 1) Venison and 2) Veal. The Zanzibar Suni is the perfect combo!

8. Killer Whale

The killer whale is the black and white cookie of the sea. With that delicious chocolate and vanilla color pattern, you have to imagine that the meat is as sweet as can be. Plus, this guy eats shrimp all the time. If you are what you eat, I find it hard to leave him off of this list.

7. California Condor

I am just going to come out and say it. His neck looks delicious. It is like it is already a fine chicken cutlet. It is just waiting to be thrown on the grill. Plus, I'm a fan of buffalo wings. Those two things could keep your Super Bowl party hopping long after the game has gotten out of hand. Then there are the breasts. So much can be done with a fine poultry breast, and the California condor has plenty to go around.

6. Bald Ukari

I grew up on the gulf coats, so I see this little guy and immediately think crayfish. If we weren't meant to suck the meat from his head, than why is there nothing to protect it?

5. Dolphin

This one doesn't take a whole lot of explanation. People say Dolphins are one of the smartest animals on Earth. Really? Then why do they keep swimming into tuna nets? I know I am supposed to want to protect the little guys, but it seems to me that if they keep swimming into the nets, then they are meant to be eaten!

4. Shark Bay Mouse

The idea of eating a mouse may sound gross, but look at this little guy! It's like the Lord designed him to be part of a shishkabob. Just picture him between peppers and onions. Is your mouth watering yet? Mine is. Plus, less mass means more edible meat. If you're worried about the amount of poop in there, think of him like a shrimp. You have to clean it properly or the meat tastes funny.

3. Giant Panda

It is tempting to put the panda at number one, but I have so many questions. Like the killer whale, he looks like nature's black and white cookie, so part of me expects that panda meat would be sweet and delicious. At the same time, pandas exist on a very natural diet - all leaves and fruit. That makes me think he could taste like the finest steak around. The possibilities are indeed endless, but the lack of knowledge costs this guy the top spot.

2. Western Lowland Gorilla

If it's muscle that we're eating when we eat steaks or pork chops, than the western lowland gorilla is ideal for eating. He is virtually all muscle. You could simply grill your gorilla, but he also looks ripe for fine dining. Imagine a nice gorilla chop stuffed with spinach and feta cheese. Now we're talking! Plus, this is a guilt free endangered meal. Gorilla's never really look happy. They always seem pissed off. The look on their face makes them look like inmates on death row.

1. Rhinoceros

Barbecue fans know exactly why I put this guy at the top of the list. Look at those ribs! Plus, he looks like a very large pig, which probably means that rhino bacon ain't half bad and you can dry out his ears and feed them to the dog. Rhinoceros really is the endangered animal that keeps on giving.

The 5 WORST Iron Man villains

Iron Man is the superhero du jour right now as Iron Man II is set to hit theaters on Friday. I love everything that is comic book movies but when you look back to the actual comics that spawned these amazing, on-screen embodiments of my heroes of youth, you quickly realize that the writers had a lot of throw away villains.

Some of the SUCKIEST came from Iron Man comics:

5. Mandarin

Obviously Mandarin has one of Iron Man's biggest foes over the years but when you look at him, was he really that tough?! Honestly, he has no powers other than the 10 rings he wears...and seriously, only douches wear thumb rings. Plus, I find it hard to be scared of a cat that looks like James Hong from "Big Trouble in Little China."

4. Midas

Midas wanted to become the wealthiest man in the world. Tony Stark IS one of the wealthiest men in the world. Great premise for a showdown but here is where you lose me...Midas' primary weapon is his Hover Chair (used to support his girth) which is equipped with the following: power beams, force field, and microwave for Hot Pockets when he is doing battle with Iron Man. This is like if my fat Uncle Tony decided that he was going to rob a bank and borrowed my Nana's rascal.
I'll take the Iron Man suit of armor over the hoover-round any day.

3. Justin Hammer

A smoking jacket, honestly?! Justin Hammer doesn't seem like an honest to goodness villain for someone as powerful as Iron Man. He is old and rich. Tony Stark is young, rich, and has a SUIT OF ARMOR!

Will PeePaw Hammer hit ol' Ironsides with some incontinence to to slow him down? Can he still drive on the highway after 6pm?

Outside of Justin Hammer getting into see a movie cheaper than Tony Stark, I don't see his upside.




2. The Unicorn

Firstly, you are named after one of the GAYEST of all mythical creatures outsides of pixies and faries. Secondly, you don't even LOOK like a unicorn. A guy on the street would stop you in your costume and ask who you were, when you replied, "I'm Unicorn," he would then reply, "really?! Unicorn? that's what you are going with?"

1. Fin Fang Foom

Tony Stark is a billionaire, genius, playboy industrialist with a penchant for the booze, whores and technology. When he wears the Iron Man armor he is the most advanced piece of technology on the planet. You are a DRAGON!

I am actually going to spell out WTF here and beg the question, WHAT THE F*** WERE YOU THINKING, STAN LEE?!

9 Rappers White People Are No Longer Scared Of

It doesn't matter what you listened to as a kid, chances are if you are white most rappers scared the hell out of you. Why wouldn't they? A lot of them did time for everything from drug charges to armed robbery. Now rap has become so much a part of the mainstream music scene that most current rappers don't frighten anyone. Some of them even appear on Sesame Street! With that in mind we present a list of nine men who have gone a little too mainstream and thus lost their edge.

9. Sean "Puffy" Combs/Puff Daddy/Puffy /P. Diddy/Diddy/Diddy-Dirty Money

Alright, he is not the best example to lead off this list. After all, Sean Combs is more of a mogul and a business man than he is a rapper, but he used to roll with Notorious BIG, and there was a time when that was all you needed to do to scare white people. White people slowly started to accept to this guy that can't pick a name and stick with it when he tried to launch his own rap career. Soon after came a clothing line, vodka and champagne brands, and multiple MTV reality shows. The fact that he was parodied by Weird Al Yankovich also made him seem a little less frightening. When the name changes started coming more often than hit records we all realized that this is a guy with an identity crisis that deserved our pity more than our fear.

8. Master P

In the late 90s Master P and his No Limit Soldiers ran New Orleans. There were rumors about people that P personally put hits out on. Was any of it true? Maybe not, but the stories and those all black tricked out Escalades rolling down Canal Street were enough to make people nervous. P and his two brothers Silkk the Shocker and C-Murder (who not ironically was arrested for murder) formed a group called TRU, which would sell out arenas, but you had to be 18 to get a ticket. P started losing his edge right after he hit big with "Make 'em Say Uggh" and he tried to make it in a semi-professional basketball league. P said he had skills. What was he best at? Making the opposing team look awesome. Then P started pushing his son - not as a rapper, but as a Nickelodeon star. Long after Master P was noteworthy (let alone frightening to white people) he joined the cast of Dancing with the Stars.

7. 50 Cent

When he first broke on the scene we heard two things about 50. First, his name was pronounced "fiddy" not "fifty." Poor syntax usually means a bad temper. White people are scared to death of black guys with bad tempers. Also, he had been shot eight times and lived to tell about it. What!? That happens to guys like John McClain and the T-1000, not real life people! Then the rumors about his sexuality became a little more well known. And then to top it all off, he played a guy that "wasn't all bad" in Righteous Kill, a movie that had both Robert De Niro and Al Pacino and still managed to suck.

6. Wu Tang Clan

In the mid 90s, there was no rap group scarier than Wu Tang. They hated whitey. They were smart guys. They all knew kung fu. And there were just so damn many of them! So what happened? Wu Tang's fall from "fearsome" to "fun" can be attributed to three members. First there was Ol' Dirty Bastard. Yes, he had a name that was meant to strike fear into the hearts of suburban parents, but when it came out that he was homeless, you had to wonder if he would kill you or just ask you for change. Then there are Method Man and Redman. These two guys and their short lived Fox sitcom "Method and Red" single handedly softened Wu Tang. You can't use a laugh track and still be hard core.

5. Jay Z

Much like Diddy, Jay Z is more of a suit than a rapper these days. We know he has enough money to seriously contemplate buying an NBA franchise. That is a lot of money! When a man with that much money goes on sold out rap tours he doesn't seem scary. He seems eccentric. Howard Hughes was eccentric. There is nothing scary about eccentric until you get to the point that you are saving your urine and toe nail clippings in jars.

4. Ice-T

This man wrote a song called "Cop Killer." How in the hell is it possible for him to lose his edge? It's very simple. Give up on your dreams of ridding the world of police men to chase kid touchers with Richard Belzer. It also doesn't hurt to turn on the TV each week and see a beautiful woman like Mariska Hargitay standing next to Ice-T without a look of "I may get murdered" in her eyes. By the way, did I mention that he was recently in a Twitter feud with Aimee Mann? That's not good for street cred.

3. Snoop Dogg

Okay, let's not fool ourselves. Snoop was never the scariest guy to come out of West Coast hip hop, but he had a reputation for loving drugs and he put out one of the darkest songs and videos of all time with "Murder Was the Case." Plus, there is that video where he and his boys all turn into dogs. And do they turn into labs and collies? Nope! Pit bulls and Rotweillers. Scary stuff for white people. Now he runs a youth football league and he has his own show on E! He is kind of the Ozzy Osbourne of the rap world. Am I worried he may shoot me? No, because he is too busy getting nagged to death by his wife.

2. Ice Cube

When your best known lyric is "Straight outta Compton. Crazy ass n***** named Ice Cube" it is easy to see why white folks were a tad uncomfortable with Ice Cube. Plus, in the early 90s, the man measured how good or bad a day he had by whether or not he had to shoot someone with an assault rifle. It is understandable that most jive ass honkeys wanted to stay on Cube's good side. Where did it all go wrong for Cube? Well, like all rappers he tried his hand at acting, which didn't go well but at least he was getting bad ass roles...that is until Are We There Yet Came Along. Then there was Are We Done Yet and whatever that movie about the female quarterback on the Pop Warner team was. Now Ice Cube seems like a guy you could leave your kids with for a weekend.

1. Eminem

There was a time when the scariest rapper of all was not an imposing, muscular black man, but a white guy who couldn't have weighed more than 160 pounds. Em's lyrics were about murdering and kidnapping people and his interviews made you think he had a short enough fuse to turn some of those rhymes into reality. So what happened? Well it started in 2002 when he performed with Elton John at the Grammys. When the scariest guy in the room starts placating people he's offended he suddenly becomes less scary. Then fast forward to the summer of 2009. Who pops up in a cameo in an Adam Sandler movie? That's right, Slim Shady...wearing glasses no less! Appearing in Funny People only scares one white guy - your agent. He knows your career is virtually over.

7 Justifiably Grumpy Cartoon Characters

This is the first of what we hope will be many lists that spark debate and conversation around your office. Hell, who are we kidding? At best this will be what you and the boys at the meth lab are talking about right before the cops break down the door.

Some cartoon characters are fun. Some were created to make us laugh or satisfy our need for adventure. Every cartoon universe has at least one douche bag. You know the one. He or she is always pissed off, always correcting other characters or raining on their good time. Some of them, like Donald Duck, are jerks pure and simple. The guy lives on a house boat and doesn't have to wear pants! How tough can his life really be? Others, like the seven listed below aren't just angry for the sake of being angry. Their cartoon universe has wronged them in some way.

7. Skeletor

Let's get this out of the way right up front - the source of Skeletor's grumpiness was clearly his sexual confusion and frustration. I mean, for God's sake, look at that get up. Plus, his life style is constantly being challenged by the government of Eternia. You think it's hard to be gay in the South? Try living with a deformed sea creature, a hairy something or another (come to think of it, could Beastman be the most famous member of the bear community?), and a guy with multiple personality disorder in some sort of love commune. On top of all that, the guy that is the biggest pain in your ass is the prince - who by the way is living a double life himself. WITH HIS PET CAT NO LESS!

6. Yosemite Sam

Sam may be the poster child for Republicans in the time of Obama. He is angry, loves his guns, and is unapologetically racist towards Mexicans. But what is the source of Sam's anger? Well, first there is the height issue. There has never been a period in history when it was ideal (or even easy) to be a midget. Secondly, there is the red hair. It is a documented fact that gingers have no souls. If Sam is as much of a right wing icon as he seems, then the prospect of not being able to get into Heaven has to piss him off.

5. Velma

Velma literally has nothing going for her. She's not hot. She's not interesting. She can barely see. She spends her life hanging out with two people that desperately want to have sex with each other, a stoner and a great dane that can talk but his a total pansy. She is probably smart enough to solve most of the "mysteries" the gang encounters faster on her own. And by the way, did you ever think she might be angry because Freddy can't read a friggin' map!? Maybe if he would stop and ask for directions every once in a while, Velma wouldn't have to bring every small town's crooked real estate investors to justice.

4. Benny the Cab

Yes, he was the coolest toon in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but look at the life he led. He was the lone apologist for Roger, who was neither smart nor successful. Whenever his friends were being chased, it was literally all up to him to get them to safety. That's a lot of pressure. Not to mention his addiction! Without his "gas," which I assume is 1940s Hollywood slang for heroine, he was lethargic and worthless.

3. Moe Szyslack

The man is all alone in this world. His only friends are the customers at his bar, which hasn't had a female customer in years. To say Moe is "stuck in a rut" is a bit of an understatement. He has no luck with women. Every time he tries to expand or reinvent his business he fails miserably. Even his suicide attempts are unsuccessful.

2. Gargamel

Don't you hate it when your buddy steals your girl? What about when a guy you hate steals her? Now imagine Gargamel's pain. It wasn't just one dude,but a whole colony of little douche bags that stole Smurfette from him. On top of that, these same jerks ruin any business venture he attempts.

It's not just Smurfs that make Gargamel so crabby. Look at the man's back! It is safe to assume that he hasn't been comfortable in years. When was the last time you think he got a good night's sleep?

1. Rabbit

Imagine being Rabbit for just one second. Have you done that yet? If you have, than you are probably grateful you don't have to deal with his problems. A tiger with ADD constantly ruins the garden you have spent so much time working on. A manic depressive donkey. A tiny pig with every phobia imaginable. And last but certainly not least, a bear with an eating disorder that keeps you around just so he can take honey from your house, which by the way is a hole in the ground.